After much thought and deliberation with myself, I’ve decided to use the truth serum on me.
There are some questions I’d ask myself, even though I’m pretty sure of the answers.
Why do you blame yourself for the ‘spankings’ you got from dear ole Dad when he came home ticked off? You already were a well-behaved kid. Your friends used to ask you why you never did anything wrong? I’d say because I didn’t want to get killed by Dad!! He was naturally a negative person who rarely saw joy in anything. I truly believe he was bi-polar. Why do you blame yourself for Mindy’s cancer? She was born with it. Do you really think that being a better daughter would have meant Mindy would not have had cancer? It doesn’t work that way. She was sent to your family to show you all what love truly was. You know that since Mindy’s death, Mom hugs you more and tells you she loves you more. Mindy taught you, Laurie, to always be positive. Find the good in everything and everybody. Remember, it could always be worse. Mindy’s passing wasn’t your fault, either. Her body was worn out from the battle she had with cancer. Her job here on Earth was complete.
Why are you so hard on yourself? Give yourself a break! Stop being so hard on yourself, especially when it comes to your writing. You have the ability to write. Do it! Stop scrunching up the paper after just writing one sentence. You really don’t give yourself a chance. You are your own worst enemy. Because you lived with a father who was both physically and mentally abusive, even at your age today (51), you believe you are not a worthy person. STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF!!
You are married to your best friend. He makes you so very happy. You’ve been blessed with five wonderful healthy kids, one precious grandson and a wonderful step-daughter. There are friends in your life. Best of all, Mom is still around!
Thank you for stopping by!
May your day be full of blessings!
Laurie Jackson 🙂
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