Depression Stinks

I suffer from depression. There, I’ve said it!

I’ve had days where all I wanted to do was cry. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I didn’t care if the sun came up or went down. I didn’t understand what was going on with me. I hated feeling the way I did. I finally was able to afford to go to the doctor. She prescribed me some medicine. She didn’t want to go as far as say that I suffered from depression. The medicine really didn’t help. It only took some of the edge off. I was still crying and feeling very down on myself, having suicidal thoughts.

One day, there was an accident that happened with my grandson. I didn’t know he had crawled up by the truck door while I was talking with my son. I shut the door on him! I drove home all the while yelling at myself and calling myself names. I tried to hurt myself once I got home. I went to bed and prayed for death. In the early morning hours, I woke up and called a friend. I told him I needed help. I was having a nervous breakdown.

To make a long story short, I went to the ER who then sent me to a mental hospital. I was there three days. I talked to counselors and doctors. My medicine was changed and I opened up to the counselor and my tears flowed. Apparently, I had a lot of “stuff” eating away at me. Once I had truly cried and was honest with myself, I felt so much better. I was told that what happened with my grandson was an accident. (My precious grandson was fine. There were not even any marks on him).

Since my hospital stay, I have tried to stay positive. My writing helps me to express how I truly feel. I still have days where I smile through the depression. Then, there are times when I am wrapped inside my wonderful husband’s arms and am able to let the tears run like rivers down my cheeks.

I stay away from negative people. I try to find the positive side in everything. I talk with God daily. And, yes, I sit quietly so I can hear what He says.  I count my blessings daily.

Hope your day is full of sunshine and laughter!

Laurie Jackson 🙂

Please feel free to visit my website. Sign the guestbook or drop me an email.

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4 thoughts on “Depression Stinks

  1. I can empathize with you in that I suffer from depression with all the symptoms that you describe. Thank God for my writing and my family for they motivate me and keep me on the right track. May God bless you and I will include you in my prayers too.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow – that was a bold admission and took courage – good for you!!! I am glad you also were able to get some help. There IS some good to found when we take the time to look and no matter how dark the clouds the sun always returns; that is why you must never, never give up!
    I hope today is a good day for you and tomorrow is better, full of sunshine inside and out!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Betty! I appreciate your kind words. I have a very loving wonderful husband. He helps me so much. I do look for the positive in everything. Between him and my mother and kids, they won’t let me give up. I won’t give up. Thank you so much again! 🙂

      Like

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