Empty Nest

Well, I am feeling kinda blah. I am suffering from a mixed bag of emotions right now.

I have six grown children (five from a previous marriage). I am so very proud of each of them. They each have their own lives. It’s just been me and Alex for the last couple of years. I thought, in time, that I would get used to this. I went from having children come and go quite frequently to BAM! just me and Alex. I have to admit I miss my kids daily. Yes, I call them and talk with them.

The other day, Alex suggested to me that at this point of my life, I should be concentrating on myself. Basically, getting to know me again. I’m not used to putting myself first. Even growing up, I had always put others before myself. I saw my mother (and still see her) put herself second. I truly do not know how she was always so calm raising eight kids (almost on her own). I don’t know how she does it now. She keeps herself busy with the grandchildren and great grandchildren. She is rarely home. Guess it’s time for me to have a chat with Mom.

I am so proud and honored to be Mama to my kids. I know they will always need me. I realize there is a time in life when I just have to set them free to live their own lives. I know deep in my heart that they love me. They also know that my door is always open to them. I always tell them that I am here for them. I am just a phone call away.

I love you, Elmer, Kyle, Casey, Jesse, Adele and Tabitha!!!!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website.

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5 thoughts on “Empty Nest

  1. I think I have a pretty good and full life but I think about my “kids” (all adults now) so often and miss them still (after 4 years with the empty nest – hate that term!!) so I kind of understand how you feel! To me, I am ok with feeling this way. They are literally part of me and were the most important part of my life for many years. I love and celebrate their independence as well as my own and enjoy life on my own schedule – hope you are too!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for your comment. My kids were a huge part of my life for so long. I celebrate their independence and am so proud of their individuality. I realize it is time to get to know me again. I am enjoying life.
      Thank you so much!

      Like

  2. I only have one son, and I remember how hard it was when he went to live on his own. It was especially difficult when my husband left me and I was alone in our big old farm house. Because he didn’t want to get in the middle of our marital problems, he avoided calling either of us and wouldn’t talk long when I called him. I felt so abandoned by both my husband and my son.

    Then I realized something. My son was only trying to preserve his relationship with both of his parents by not being forced to pick a side. I can’t fault him for that. When I finally stopped expecting him to be my support system and come to my defense (an unrealistic expectation for a grown young man who was capable of making his own life choices), I stopped calling him. When he called, I only spoke about “safe” topics. Lo and behold, he started calling more and we created a new, more adult kind of relationship–one which we continue today. It’s closer and more rewarded than the old relationship. I’ve grown to know him in a new way, and I think he would say the same about me.

    Life is constant change. We have to, as parents, recognize that our relationships with our children also change as times moves on. But change doesn’t have to be a bad thing, just a different thing. Often a good thing. I hope you can settle into a new and rewarding relationship with your children as they venture into adulthood. You become more of a mentor than a parent–listening rather than instructing. It’s hard, but it’s so worth it when they thank you for being there in the ways that they needed you rather than they ways you needed to be there for them.

    Sorry I rambled and I hope tht made some sense…

    Liked by 1 person

    • After my divorce, my oldest son didn’t talk to me for three months. It killed me. When I stopped texting him and just left him a lone, he came around and now he and are I super close. I understand what you mean by having to let the children go and experience life for themselves. I am learning to listen more than instruct. I am very proud of all my kids. They are growing up to be wonderful adults. Yes, they don’t need me as much as before but they do realize that I am only a phone call way. Thank you so much for your comments. It helps a great deal! Have a super day! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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