Staying Positive

Even though I’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety (panic) attacks and agoraphobia, (scared to leave the house) I’ve been working on being more positive.

It’s yet another day. I have to admit that this morning was rough for me. Some tears flowed but not as many as other days.

As I stepped out of the shower this morning, I heard this voice. I want to think it was God speaking to me. This voice told me to stand up straight and to get ready for the day. I did what I was told. I stood straighter, looked at myself in the mirror and told myself, “I love you! I am worthy!” This voice continued speaking to me in an almost stern but gentle way.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life and it will be positive! How do I know this? I trust in the Lord. I have tons of faith in him. If I fall, I know He will catch me. God never gives anyone more than they can handle. If your situation brings you to your knees, you may as well pray.

Well, I guess He thinks I can handle this stupid depression! Alright then, Lord, I accept your challenge. I will fight this depression with whatever it takes. If I need counseling, I’ll do it. If I have to take meds, I’ll take them. I will blast the radio with good old country music and dance this horrible stuff out of me! I am determined to kick all those horrible, negative people from my past out of my life. Those tears that used to fall on a daily basis are no longer! I will fight this disease with all that I have. I will come out the other side a much stronger woman because I have fought hard.

There may not be a cure for depression but I am making a promise to myself right here, right now. I promise I will not let the depression consume me. I know it’s easier said than done but I will learn to live with it. I am a worthy person!

I promise myself to be a more positive person. Look to the skies, dance in the rain, sing off key and write. I am blessed with one handsome grandson so far. I am awaiting the arrival of my beautiful granddaughter which is sometime in February. This grandma promises to spoil any grandkids that come my way.

A special thank you goes to my wonderful husband, Alex. Without him, I don’t know what I’d do or where I’d be.

Enjoy life! It’s much too short!

May your day be filled with blessings!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website. Thank you!

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From Grandma’s Country Kitchen — Peanut Butter Cups

PEANUT BUTTER CUPS

1/3 pound graham cracker crumbs

1/2 pound butter or margarine

1 cup peanut butter

1 pound powdered sugar

2 cups chocolate chips

Combine crumbs, butter, peanut butter and sugar, work together until smooth. Press this mixture into a 9×9″ buttered pan or a larger pan if you want thinner bars. Melt chocolate chips over hot water. Spread over cracker mixture. Refrigerate until firm. Cut into squares.

Enjoy!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website. Thank you!

Expressing Myself

There are many ways I express myself. My favorite, well, I have a couple of favorites in expressing myself.

It’s a tie between  singing and writing. Why singing? My siblings and I grew up in a musical home. I remember singing for Grandpa and Grandma before we could open any Christmas gifts. Back then, we had Christmas in the garage. I used to sing in choir. I always sing to the radio these days. Singing a long with the radio makes me feel better and full of energy.

Writing is another favorite of mine because I can keep writing and writing, even if it doesn’t make sense. I keep a journal on a daily basis.I can express myself better with words. When I try to talk with someone, let’s say about a problem, my tongue gets tangled up. What I want to say comes out gibberish. In fact, Alex and I have a book. In that book we down what is bothering us. Instead of using our voices and saying something we would regret later, we take turns writing down what is wrong. We use the book, too, for little love letters or notes.

Hope you are able to feel the sun on your shoulders today.

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website. Thank you!

Walk Through Nature

Alex and I had lunch at the riverfront today. The sun felt so warm and wonderful on my back. It was nice to get out of the house. It was a beautiful day. We even walked down the trail.

I am still struggling with those withdrawal symptoms. I find myself crying at random times during the day for no reason.

My wonderful husband has been my strength to keep me going. There have been many times when I have not even wanted to get out of bed. Alex gives me reasons for getting out of bed and out of the house. He keeps me distracted each day. At the end of the day, he tells me he is proud of me for making it through the day. I survived another day.

One day closer for me to get help and new medicine. One day closer that I will be able to sit and talk with someone with my struggles.

I have been praying and talking with God. I’ve been listening to music and trying to dance. Positive thoughts only!

I love you, Alex! Thank you for holding me up at my weakest moments!

Enjoy!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website. Thank you!

Oh Baby!

Wow! What a day! Today was the reveal party of what my beautiful daughter is having. I am so excited! (I knew for a while what the gender of the baby is but I promised I would not tell.)

She is having a girl; a daughter!! I’m getting a granddaughter!!!! I am going to spoil her to pieces. She will make her grand appearance sometime in February.

I’ve already been blessed with a grandson. He is so amazing and awesome! It’s hard to believe he is already in first grade. He says it bores him. It’s not exciting enough for him. He sounds just like his daddy.

I love you both my little munchkins!!! You are gifts from God!

Enjoy!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website. Thank you!

Happy Birthday To My Son

Happy Birthday to my son, Elmer! Oh where have the years gone?? From getting covered in mud by playing in rain puddles to playing Barbies with your aunt.
Elmer, I have watched you grow into an AMAZING young man.

I was scared to death, being a new mom and all. What if I failed you as a mom; as a parent? You poor little guy…you were my little guinea pig…my trial and error. Yet, through it all, much to my surprise, you survived it all. We both survived it! You taught me so much.

You always were and still are a determined young man. You have had your struggles and battles. You always came out the other side a stronger man.

I love you so much, my son! I am honored, blessed and proud to be your Mama! I miss you like crazy! You are in my thoughts always.

Love you from your Mama

Enjoy your day!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website. Thank you!

Much To Be Thankful For — God

I have much to be thankful for. I am truly a blessed woman. There is so much I want to say but not enough time to say it all in one sitting.

I am thankful for God being the biggest part of my life. Without Him, I would not or could not be who or where I am today. He has given me much to be thankful for. He has given me more blessings than I feel I deserve.

I have to admit I do not talk with Him as much as I should. I know, though, He already knows what I’m thinking and what I’m feeling.

I grew up going to church each and every Sunday with Church School afterward. It was a lot of fun. I have always believed and trusted in God. He has answered many prayers and not so many prayers. It’s hard for me to understand why He won’t answer what think are important prayers. Somehow, in the end, I always received what I needed in the end anyway.

God has been with me my entire life. I can always feel his presence. I know if I get off on the wrong path, He’ll gently push me in the right direction. I trust you, Lord! Always have and always will. As you already know, Lord, I’ll stumble and fall and drag my feet, but You will always be there encouraging me.

Thank you, Lord, for all the blessings you have given me. I do have much to be thankful for!

Enjoy your day!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website. Thank you!

From Grandma’s Country Kitchen — Peanut Butter Squares

I have made this recipe so many times, I could probably do it with my eyes closed. My youngest son asks for these every Christmas.

PEANUT BUTTER SQUARES

1/2 cup corn syrup, honey OR molasses (My favorite is corn syrup.)

1/2 cup sugar

1 cup creamy peanut butter

2 cups dry rice krispies or crumbled corn flakes (I use Rice Krispies.)

Bring syrup and sugar to a boil. Remove from heat and stir in peanut butter. Pour mixture over cereal. Mix well. Press into small balls or press into 8×8″ pan and cut into squares. Chill.

I usually double the recipe. These won’t last long!

Enjoy your day!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website. Thank you!

Wonderful Walk

Alex and I had a wonderful walk on Mom’s farm the other day. The sun was out and its warmth felt so spectacular! Standing on the hillside, talking about nothing important, was terrific. Just being outdoors, breathing in the wonderful fresh air made me feel so much better.

I am still struggling with the withdrawals of a medicine I had been on. Being outdoors in the sun felt so good. Being on Mom’s farm again helped center me. I felt refreshed  and on an even keel.

The last couple of days have been horrible for me. It seems that the tears are endless. Who knew one body could have that much water inside? I wake up each morning thanking God for allowing me to breathe and opening my eyes. I have so much to be thankful for.

Perhaps that will be the beginning of a new blog.

Enjoy!

Laurie Jackson

From Grandma’s Country Kitchen — Speedy Little Devils

I used to make this recipe a lot! One of my favorite recipes I have.

SPEEDY LITTLE DEVILS

1 Duncan Hines deluxe Devil’s Food Cake Mix (I use german chocolate cake mix.)

1 stick butter or margarine, melted

3/4 cup creamy peanut butter

1- 7 or 7 1/2 ounce jar marshmallow creme

Combine melted butter and dry cake mix. Reserve 1 1/2 cups of this topping for top crust. Pat remaining crumb mixture into ungreased 13x9x2″ pan. Top that layer with combined peanut butter and marshmallow creme. Spread evenly.

Crumble remaining mixture over that. Bake 20 minutes at 350 degrees. Cool.

Makes 3 dozen bars.

Enjoy!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website. Thank you!http://www.lauriejacksonauthor.com