Ripped Into The Headlines

This did not happen over the weekend. It happened on Tuesday, January 12, 2016 at 1 pm.

What was so special about this day? It was the day of my disability hearing.

I had had a disability hearing about four years ago. It was denied. My lawyer appealed.

Why am I trying for disability?

Well, first of all, to look at me, you’d think there was nothing wrong with me. To be honest, I’d rather work than be at home each day. Trouble is, I can’t. Back in 2008, I started having problems with my left foot. I did not fall or trip. I was not in an accident. One day, the bones started breaking. Not all at once but one bone at a time. It was almost like they were talking to each other. “Okay, it’s your turn to break.”

Make a long story short, I ended up having several surgeries on my left foot. I’ve had repairs. I’ve had two plates put in. I’ve had pins in my foot. I’ve had a plate removed. I’ve had tests done to try to figure out why my bones broke.

This particular doctor (and I use the term loosely) did more harm than good on my foot. This particular “doctor” enjoyed doing surgeries.

I went to a different podiatrist. After one visit, I felt that this doctor knew what he was talking about. If I had gone to him in the first place, I would probably still be working. My new doctor took an x-ray of my foot. He walked into the exam room and said, “You can’t work, can you?” He diagnosed me with a crippled foot. He asked me who had the surgeries. When I said the name, I could tell he was not impressed at all.

I cannot walk for long periods of time. I have to use a cane for support. I have to sit with my foot elevated on a daily basis.

I started seeing a psychiatrist this past October. He asked me a bunch of questions. He, then, diagnosed me with agoraphobia which means I am scared to leave the house. Every time I try to shop with Alex, I get nervous and can’t breathe. The day before my hearing, I started panicking. My chest felt like it was closing up. I felt like the walls were closing in on and I felt like I was in a tunnel. My vision went blurry.

I have chronic depression and panic attacks. I have always had headaches and migraines. There’s a doctor in Kirksville that has finally found something that helps. At least the pills used to help. My headaches and migraines have changed.

I had another MRI done. This one showed that I have “white matter disease”. I am not sure what that is. I see my neurologist at the end of the month. I’ll find out more at that time. The MRI also showed that I have a slow, low-grade tumor on the left side of my brain. I believe the doctor said I don’t have migraines, per say. He said it was a rare type of headache that never completely goes away.

So, now we play the waiting game with my disability. I have been fighting for this for six long years. I leave it in God’s hands.

Have a blessed day!

Laurie Jackson




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