What Can I Say?

have cancer! I have cancer! I have cancer!

Nope, anyway I write it, I don’t like it!!!

I will not let it define me. I plan on putting a world of hurt on this cancer. I will fight this with all my strength. I am counting on God to be by my side the entire time. I know He will be! I also know with the Lord by my side that I can do this! God never gives us more than we can bear! If He brings you to your knees, pray. I’m not angry at God. When I ask myself, “Why me?” God answers with, “Why not you?” My faith is strong. Apparently God believes in me!  Besides, I have my Mama’s sass. My baby sister, Mindy, put up a hell of a fight for 11 years. She is my role model. I never heard her complain about being ill or anything. She went through radiation and chemo, as I will be. This cancer doesn’t have a chance in hell to defeat me!!

Thursday, July 14, 2016, my life changed. I had brain surgery to remove a tumor which, unfortunately, was cancerous. I have glioblastoma multiforme. It is stage 4. It is the Grandfather of all tumors. (I can’t do anything simple. No, I have to do it big all the way or don’t waste my time. Haha!)

For the most part, I am positive. I am a roller coaster of emotions. The doctors tell me that it is to be expected. This tumor is the last thing I ever expected to take place with me.

Alex and I had been planning a trip to Canada when all this happened. We still have not received his passport card. We agreed to go somewhere just to get out of the house. The hospital was not what we had in mind! Being away from home for three weeks was unbearable. I was getting bored and irritable. I (should say WE) wanted to go home.

A week before I went to the ER, I had been having trouble with texting, finding the correct spelling of my words and slurring of my words. Alex noticed I was slurring my words. The following Monday we went to the ER in Wentzville. The doctor ordered a CT Scan. He made the discovery of the tumor. (I’m sorry I do not remember his name. He was very thorough.) He sent us to Dr. Neiles right away. I was transferred by ambulance to St. Joseph Health Center in St. Charles.

Eat that dessert first! Drink that wine or whiskey, which ever suits your fancy. Live each day to the fullest.

God Bless!!

Laurie Jackson

 

I Am So Blessed!

I have many, many blessings! I can’t even begin to count them all. I have to begin with my loving wonderful husband, Alexander. I can’t begin to say enough about him. He has always been by my side. He has gone beyond–way beyond of caring for me. I mean that with the utmost respect. He is amazing. He slept on two uncomfortable chairs pushed together at the hospital. He refused to leave my side before, during and after my surgery. I felt bad for him because there was no one there with him when the surgeon came out to talk with him. Alex had to take the news alone. No one should have to take that kind of news by themselves.

He stayed with me the entire time I was at the rehab hospital. I was there nine long days. I suffer from anxiety issues. Being put into crowds or busy gyms was not helpful. I was grateful for my hubby being there the entire time. He watched over me while I was doing the different therapies. There was occupational, physical, speech and group therapies. Those therapists did not “play nice”. I have to say that they expected a lot out of the patient. I couldn’t have recovered so quickly without working hard. I received a badge and a certificate for completing therapy. I was so proud of myself. I, also, knew that family and friends were proud of me!

Paul, the guy who ran the group therapy, said to me one day, “Don’t give up!! Never give up!” He had been trying to help me recall something from the past and I couldn’t. I had been struggling. He was a pretty amazing teacher. He was pretty funny.

The hardest therapy for me to do was the mental part. It was so hard for me to recall a certain amount of words after a certain amount of time went by. The therapist distracted me with conversation. It was hard!

When I arrived at the rehab hospital, I couldn’t tie my shoes, or brush my teeth very well. I had trouble talking. I couldn’t get up by myself. Now, I can shower almost alone. I can brush my teeth really well. I can put my shoes on and tie them!

Oh, did I mention that I had brain surgery?

Enjoy the day!

Laurie Jackson