I Can’t BUT~~ I Can

I feel that I can’t do much because of my hands. Tremors have taken over my hands. I DON’T LIKE IT!!!!

Instead of going to negative side, I’m going to stay positive about this whole thing.

My right hand is the worst. I’m going to work with it. Did I tell you I’m right handed? Meanwhile, I’ll be using my left hand.

I’m sorry if there is mistakes on here. I have not been typing in a very long time. I used my left hand plucking away on here.

It is short and I’m tired. Must go rest now.

Talk to you later!

God bless!

Laurie Jackson

This Journey I’m On

This is quite the journey I am on. Not one I ever thought I would be taking.

I was in the hospital in July.  I had a brain tumor removed. Then,  I went to rehab for nine days. Came home until the end of September when I had a grand maul seizure (my brain sifted slightly). At the end of October, I had a another seizure. Found out I had steroid induced diabetes. In November, I had yet another seizure. Come to find out I had to have a CT scan. I had bleeding ulcers. Had to have an upper GI and a blood transfusion. I did not end up in the hospital in the month of December. Thank God! I was getting tired of hospitals!!

I’m getting tired now. It took me forever to write this. It is hard to find the letters. I’ll get it one of these days, though.

God bless!

Laurie Jackson

In Awe

I am in awe of my grandkids. They simply amaze me. I am blessed to have two grandchildren. One of each–a grandson and a granddaughter.

James is my 7 year old grandson. He is simply amazing. There is never a dull moment when he is around! He is very much like his daddy. I have to chuckle. James has a such a creative imagination! I absolutely love it! Never know what will come out of his mouth.

James started second grade this school year. He is so smart. Again, like his daddy. He was bored last school year when he was in the first grade. He needs to be challenged!

Ava Rose is my 6 month old granddaughter. She is smart and so observant! She watches everything and everybody, especially when people have food. Sometimes Ava stares at you and she doesn’t blink for a long time. It’s like she is looking into the depths of your soul!

She is beautiful and awesome and so amazing! I am truly blessed to have these two wonderful grandchildren in my life. I would not trade them for anything in world. As if I would!

I truly love being a grandma!

May you have a blessed day!

Laurie Jackson

What Can I Say?

have cancer! I have cancer! I have cancer!

Nope, anyway I write it, I don’t like it!!!

I will not let it define me. I plan on putting a world of hurt on this cancer. I will fight this with all my strength. I am counting on God to be by my side the entire time. I know He will be! I also know with the Lord by my side that I can do this! God never gives us more than we can bear! If He brings you to your knees, pray. I’m not angry at God. When I ask myself, “Why me?” God answers with, “Why not you?” My faith is strong. Apparently God believes in me!  Besides, I have my Mama’s sass. My baby sister, Mindy, put up a hell of a fight for 11 years. She is my role model. I never heard her complain about being ill or anything. She went through radiation and chemo, as I will be. This cancer doesn’t have a chance in hell to defeat me!!

Thursday, July 14, 2016, my life changed. I had brain surgery to remove a tumor which, unfortunately, was cancerous. I have glioblastoma multiforme. It is stage 4. It is the Grandfather of all tumors. (I can’t do anything simple. No, I have to do it big all the way or don’t waste my time. Haha!)

For the most part, I am positive. I am a roller coaster of emotions. The doctors tell me that it is to be expected. This tumor is the last thing I ever expected to take place with me.

Alex and I had been planning a trip to Canada when all this happened. We still have not received his passport card. We agreed to go somewhere just to get out of the house. The hospital was not what we had in mind! Being away from home for three weeks was unbearable. I was getting bored and irritable. I (should say WE) wanted to go home.

A week before I went to the ER, I had been having trouble with texting, finding the correct spelling of my words and slurring of my words. Alex noticed I was slurring my words. The following Monday we went to the ER in Wentzville. The doctor ordered a CT Scan. He made the discovery of the tumor. (I’m sorry I do not remember his name. He was very thorough.) He sent us to Dr. Neiles right away. I was transferred by ambulance to St. Joseph Health Center in St. Charles.

Eat that dessert first! Drink that wine or whiskey, which ever suits your fancy. Live each day to the fullest.

God Bless!!

Laurie Jackson

 

I Am So Blessed!

I have many, many blessings! I can’t even begin to count them all. I have to begin with my loving wonderful husband, Alexander. I can’t begin to say enough about him. He has always been by my side. He has gone beyond–way beyond of caring for me. I mean that with the utmost respect. He is amazing. He slept on two uncomfortable chairs pushed together at the hospital. He refused to leave my side before, during and after my surgery. I felt bad for him because there was no one there with him when the surgeon came out to talk with him. Alex had to take the news alone. No one should have to take that kind of news by themselves.

He stayed with me the entire time I was at the rehab hospital. I was there nine long days. I suffer from anxiety issues. Being put into crowds or busy gyms was not helpful. I was grateful for my hubby being there the entire time. He watched over me while I was doing the different therapies. There was occupational, physical, speech and group therapies. Those therapists did not “play nice”. I have to say that they expected a lot out of the patient. I couldn’t have recovered so quickly without working hard. I received a badge and a certificate for completing therapy. I was so proud of myself. I, also, knew that family and friends were proud of me!

Paul, the guy who ran the group therapy, said to me one day, “Don’t give up!! Never give up!” He had been trying to help me recall something from the past and I couldn’t. I had been struggling. He was a pretty amazing teacher. He was pretty funny.

The hardest therapy for me to do was the mental part. It was so hard for me to recall a certain amount of words after a certain amount of time went by. The therapist distracted me with conversation. It was hard!

When I arrived at the rehab hospital, I couldn’t tie my shoes, or brush my teeth very well. I had trouble talking. I couldn’t get up by myself. Now, I can shower almost alone. I can brush my teeth really well. I can put my shoes on and tie them!

Oh, did I mention that I had brain surgery?

Enjoy the day!

Laurie Jackson

Bucket List

I have a bucket list. It doesn’t have much on it.

I already did zip-lining. My husband, Alex, did it with me. Bless him! We are both scared of heights!! We did it anyway. We had to admit we had fun. Haha. I’d do it again…in a heartbeat. I screamed, I love you, Alexander when I took the first step off the tower. It felt very exhilarating taking that first step.

I would like to go horse back riding. I’ve never been on a horse. I think it would be awesome.

I’ve already gone on train rides through Colorado. There were four trains. I have always found trains to be interesting.

Enjoy!

Laurie Jackson

Update on Laurie

First I would like to apologize for taking so long to post an update. It has been a week and a a half since Laurie’s surgery and I have been by her side the whole time.

The pathology report came back and it was as suspected. Laurie does have cancer. The tumor was a high grade glioma multiforme blastoma. It is the most aggressive of the primary brain tumors. The surgeon told us it will come back, the oncologist told us that treatment will eventually stop working. How much time we have it not known at this time. She will be seeing a neuro oncologist on Aug 8th at the Siteman Cancer Center in St Louis, MO. The doctor specializes in this type of tumor.

The tumor affected Laurie’s right side (causing weakness and some loss of direction from her brain to arm and leg). It also affected her speech and language area. She has aphasia (difficulty in finding her words and getting them out) – both spoken and written (texting and typing included). She has been at a rehabilitation hospital since last Wed night. She gets physical, occupational, and speech therapy. She is making amazing progress. I have no idea if she will ever be able to blog again, but I know she will try her hardest to. She loves to write and she loves this blog.

Below are some pictures of Laurie’s journey so far:

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Alex – Laurie’s Husband

Prayer – Update

Laurie made it through the surgery without any complications. They removed a tumor just bigger then a golf ball. She had a good night. She has been talking, eating jello, laughing and crying. Her speech is still affected and will probably need therapy. The right side weakness showed some improvement then slid back a bit. She is still trying to sleep off the anesthesia.

We could possibly have the pathology report today. She has a long road to recovery but she is a fighter and will make it through this.

Alex

A Prayer

This is Laurie’s husband. I am writing this because Laurie is in the hospital and will be having brain surgery tomorrow (Thursday July 14th). On Monday a CT found a 3 cm mass on the left side of her brain. Over the last 2 weeks it has been affecting her speech, ability to text, write, type, and spell. It is considered an aggressive tumor because of how fast the symptoms have progressed. Yesterday weakness on the right side of her mouth showed up and has moved to her arm today.

She is a talented writer and this is devastating for her. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. We don’t know yet what type of tumor it is or what other treatments will be needed. We won’t know this until the tumor is biopsied tomorrow.

I will update this when I know more.

Thank you everyone

Alex Jackson (Laurie’s husband)