The battle is over

This is Laurie’s husband Alex.

It is with a very heavy heart that I must say that Laurie has lost her battle with her brain cancer. At 4:30 am on Mar 14, 2017 Laurie passed away. She fought hard for 8 months (to the day) and suffered much. She is at peace now.

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Update on Laurie

First I would like to apologize for taking so long to post an update. It has been a week and a a half since Laurie’s surgery and I have been by her side the whole time.

The pathology report came back and it was as suspected. Laurie does have cancer. The tumor was a high grade glioma multiforme blastoma. It is the most aggressive of the primary brain tumors. The surgeon told us it will come back, the oncologist told us that treatment will eventually stop working. How much time we have it not known at this time. She will be seeing a neuro oncologist on Aug 8th at the Siteman Cancer Center in St Louis, MO. The doctor specializes in this type of tumor.

The tumor affected Laurie’s right side (causing weakness and some loss of direction from her brain to arm and leg). It also affected her speech and language area. She has aphasia (difficulty in finding her words and getting them out) – both spoken and written (texting and typing included). She has been at a rehabilitation hospital since last Wed night. She gets physical, occupational, and speech therapy. She is making amazing progress. I have no idea if she will ever be able to blog again, but I know she will try her hardest to. She loves to write and she loves this blog.

Below are some pictures of Laurie’s journey so far:

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Alex – Laurie’s Husband

Prayer – Update

Laurie made it through the surgery without any complications. They removed a tumor just bigger then a golf ball. She had a good night. She has been talking, eating jello, laughing and crying. Her speech is still affected and will probably need therapy. The right side weakness showed some improvement then slid back a bit. She is still trying to sleep off the anesthesia.

We could possibly have the pathology report today. She has a long road to recovery but she is a fighter and will make it through this.

Alex

A Prayer

This is Laurie’s husband. I am writing this because Laurie is in the hospital and will be having brain surgery tomorrow (Thursday July 14th). On Monday a CT found a 3 cm mass on the left side of her brain. Over the last 2 weeks it has been affecting her speech, ability to text, write, type, and spell. It is considered an aggressive tumor because of how fast the symptoms have progressed. Yesterday weakness on the right side of her mouth showed up and has moved to her arm today.

She is a talented writer and this is devastating for her. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. We don’t know yet what type of tumor it is or what other treatments will be needed. We won’t know this until the tumor is biopsied tomorrow.

I will update this when I know more.

Thank you everyone

Alex Jackson (Laurie’s husband)

Fake Or Real

I hate fake, especially fake friendships. If you are going to be nice to my face one minute but stab me in the back the next, you can just go on your merry way. I have no use for you. I do not have the time, energy or patience to waste on people like that.

I can’t stand drama. Someone close to me seems to get a thrill causing drama. It seems like this person isn’t happy unless there is drama. Talk about stupid! When I see this going on, I just walk away. I do not need that negativity dragging me down. I have enough stuff going on with my own life. I don’t need or want that crap around me.

I am an extremely honest person. I am not afraid to speak my mind. (It took me many years to get this way. No more walking on eggshells around people, especially in my own home.) If what I say hurts your feelings, deal with it. If you can’t handle the truth, don’t lie to me. I usually have a way of finding out when someone lies to me. My gut instinct stand to attention. I can, also, usually tell if you’re lying to me. If you have shifty eyes while talking with me, just stop talking.

I am an honest person and I am a positive person. Don’t drag me down with your sob stories and negativity.

If you want to be my friend, be yourself and be honest! Please!

Have a blessed day!

Laurie Jackson

 

 

 

Disappointed

I am disappointed in myself today. Let me explain…

I was in a bad mood for…most of the day. (I was going to say ALL day but I remembered something…)

I suffer with chronic depression but that was not the problem today. It was my medicine. I didn’t have the full amount. What I’m trying to say but having a dickens of a time saying it is I only half of the correct amount I usually take. Sooooo, with only half my medicine, I became very crabby. Everyone and everything ticked me off.

That is until we arrived back home.

Ava Rose, my beautiful two month old granddaughter made me smile. She is absolutely perfect. Having her on my lap always makes me feel so much better.

Anyway, after spending time with Ava, my crabbiness faded away rather quickly.

Have a wonderful day!

Laurie Jackson

Bookmobile?

I might be aging myself…    Does it still exist?

What is a bookmobile? It’s a library on wheels.

I grew up in a rural area in central Missouri. This was back in the ’60’s and early ’70’s. I don’t know why there wasn’t a library at that time.

I think the mobile library came once a week. (I’m not sure anymore. I’m old and I can’t remember.)  😉

Just getting to go into town was a treat. I grew up on a farm. At that time, Mom didn’t know how to drive. Every Thursday, my uncle came to pick us up in his car. We piled in and off we went to town. Each of us received a quarter to buy a bag of candy. After our little shopping spree, we were allowed to go into the bookmobile.

Two books each, children! Mom used to say. Two! Just two, Mom? C’mon! Please? Can I get more than that? She explained to me that there were other children that liked books, too. I had to share the bookmobile with others. So, two books, it was. As we grew older, we were allowed three. I enjoyed reading mystery stories such as The Nancy Drew and the Parker Brothers series. I could relate with Laura Ingalls Wilder and her life. I read every single one of her books over and over.

The driver of the bookmobile used to read us a story under the big shade tree. It was great fun sitting in the grass listening to her read. She used different voices for each character, too. I loved it! As I listened, I was drawn into the story. My imagination went crazy!

Since this during the summer, Mom let us read for awhile after we arrived back home. She loved to read. She always said that was her entertainment. She never had the opportunity to read until after us kids and Dad were in bed.

Such great memories!

Have a wonderful day!

Laurie Jackson

 

 

 

The Truth?

My eyes…..no mystery there….

If you want the truth, just look into my baby blues…

My eyes are a dead give away.

A friend from years past told me that my eyes were always a dead give away. No matter how hard I try to conceal my true feelings, my eyes show the truth. If someone wanted to know how I was truly feeling or truly thinking, just look into my eyes.

I may say I’m fine by my body language. From the depths of my eyes, down in my soul, may be another story.

Just saying’….

Have a blessed day!

Laurie Jackson

 

Corners Of The Earth

I will drive (or ride) to the far corners of the world to reach any of my children. I do not care how old my kids are. I will get to them one way or another. Day or night doesn’t matter to me, either. My kids call and I’ll coming running.

I received a phone call from my oldest son who happens to live 2 1/2 hours away in Illinois. He called me Saturday night and he sounded horrible!

It was kind of funny at first because I had been sitting there thinking I should call him to see how he was. My phone rang and his name was showing. I chuckled to myself and answered. When he said hello, I almost didn’t recognize his voice. He was all kinds of clogged up.

He told me that he had been ill the last couple of days. He convinced me that he was antibiotics. He had a culture taken but the results still had not confirmed if he had strep throat or something else. He promised me that he would give me a call on Sunday, the next day. Well, he didn’t call me. He didn’t call me until Monday afternoon.

First thing out of his mouth was that he was in the hospital. The meds he had been on had not helped at all. He had taken himself to the ER Sunday afternoon. The doctor gave him morphine because he was in so much pain. He said that he could barely talk. His tonsils were so huge that they were touching each other. The doctor wasn’t sure if my son’s tonsils were abscessed or just what was going on.

While on the phone with EJ (my son) Monday afternoon, I decided that we (my husband and I) would be going to Illinois. I needed to be close to my son and visa versa. EJ is 29. I could tell in his voice that he wanted me to come to the hospital.

When Alex and I arrived at the hospital (about 3 hours later), it was past visiting hours. The security guard gave us a visitor’s tag after he called up to the nurse’s station for clearance. I told him that we just drove three hours from Missouri to see my son. There was no way I was not going to see EJ. The guard kinda looked at me weird and told us to have a nice visit.

When Alex and I reached EJ’s room, I could hardly contain myself. I hugged EJ. He looked like death warmed over but I was so happy to see him. I could see in his eyes that he was thrilled to have us there. After a short while, Alex and I drove to EJ’s apartment. We spent the night there.

The next day, Alex and I took EJ’s bedding to the laundry mat to wash. We did his dishes, swept the floors and cleaned his bathroom. When we arrived at the hospital, EJ was being released. YAY!!!

We took him home and got him settled in for the night. Making sure EJ had everything that he needed, Alex and I headed home.

I hugged EJ and I could tell he was grateful that we had come up there.

Yesterday (Wednesday), EJ called me. He sounded so much better. The medicine that he was on this time was working. His tonsil was abscessed. The doctor said he won’t be removing EJ’s tonsils, though.

I’m just ecstatic that EJ is feeling better!

I do not care where my children live (Well, I do but that is a whole other blog.), if they need me, all they need to do is call. I’ll be there.

Have a blessed day!

Laurie Jackson

 

 

 

The Door Was Ajar

I had just crawled into bed and was snuggled under my blankets when I noticed that the closet door was open. I laid there and watched the door. Then, my imagination kicked in.

What was behind the door? Was there a boogie man deep in the closet? Was he coming out to eat me? Should I get up and just close the door? I imagined that the boogie man was over huge! Over 6 feet tall with lots of fur. His eyes bulged out. He had claws that were at least 10 inches long! He’d probably take one swipe at me and that would be that. I’d be gone. I started to sob.

I looked around the bedroom. My sisters and brother were asleep. How could they possibly be sleeping at a time like this? The closet door was open! The door wasn’t open very much but still. It was open just enough for a creature to slither out!

I wanted to scream and I did, too!

“Mom! Mom! I need you!”

I waited and slid further under the blankets. I waited for Mom to arrive. Nothing.

I thought how dare she not come to my rescue! Doesn’t she know I’m scared? Where is she??

“MOM! MOM! PLEASE come here! I need you!”

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Mom came to my rescue, (or so I thought).

“What’s the matter with you? You trying to wake up Dad?”

I pointed to the closet door. “The door is open. The boogie man will come out and eat me.” I started sobbing. I thought maybe Mom would feel sorry for me and lay down beside me. No such luck.

She leaned in toward me and said, “My child, I am tired. We have been going through this all week. Has a boogie man come out to eat you yet? No.” Mom sighed, took a breath and continued.

“Look at your brother and sisters. They are sleeping soundly. I don’t understand you at all. I’m going to bed. You’ll be fine, I promise. Please just go to sleep. I love you. I’ll see you in the morning.” Mom stood up and walked out of the room.

I cried harder and louder. Mom didn’t come back. I covered my head with my pillow with one eye facing the closet. I was determined to watch that closet door. I just knew some creature was going to jump out at me.

Apparently I fell asleep because the next thing I knew, Mom was waking me up for school. My eyes flew open and looked at the closet door. It was still ajar. I thought to myself that okay, the boogie man had changed his mind. Perhaps he was waiting for a better night. Well, tonight when I go to bed, I’m gonna make sure that door is closed nice and tight! I was going to make sure no boogie man had a chance to eat me!

I smirked to myself, jumped out of bed and dressed for school.

 

Have a blessed day!

Laurie Jackson